Annabelle Speaks

Best Shirt EVER

After seeing a non-maternity version of this shirt on Pinterest (without the arrow, obviously), I could not resist making what I have decided is CLEARLY the best maternity shirt of all time.  80s reference + dance movie reference + maternity pun = WIN.

I wonder if the baby will grow up to be as easily amused as me?

State of the Pregnancy: 17w4d

For a first-time mom I sure am failing at documenting this pregnancy.  Last week T posted a picture of me and my very-obviously-pregnant belly on Facebook, and I think that was probably the first the Internet-at-large had seen of me in a while.

Hey, look! A pregnant Annabelle!

I think the reason I'm not documenting much of this pregnancy here is that there's really not that much to document.  I never really got sick, I don't have much in the way of aches and pains, and I can still get up off the couch/floor/bed without much strain.  In fact yesterday I commented to T that it's amazing I am 17 weeks along and still feel completely normal - possibly better than normal.  I know that won't last, so I'm trying to enjoy it while I have it.

The only Big News I have, which you already know if you follow me on Facebook or Twitter, is that as of February 12th (when I was 16w3d) I can feel the wee little rave that Littlebit is throwing in my abdomen.  S/he is most active after Zumba/Groove (dance exercise classes at my gym) or when I'm really hungry.  Mostly I feel the movement in the afternoons and evenings.  Last week at my OB appointment the doctor was amazed I was feeling the baby with such regularity already - she said first-time moms usually don't feel this kind of regular movement until 19 weeks or so.  Overachieving fetus!

The Big Reveal ultrasound, where we'll try to find out if Littlebit is a boy or a girl, is scheduled for March 9th, when I'll be 20w1d.  Right now opinions are pretty split down the middle by family lines, with my family thinking it's a boy and T's family thinking it's a girl.  I've thought it was a boy from day one (at the insemination appointment, in fact), though earlier in the pregnancy I had three separate dreams and in all of them the baby was a girl.  More recently I've been thinking maybe my subconscious is right and it is a girl, which of course means that this weekend I had a dream that the baby is a boy.  Of course.  I'm currently thinking "boy" again, but who knows.

So in short, I'm doing well - I feel good. I make it to the gym three days a week, twice for relatively intense cardio and once to work with a prenatal certified personal trainer on weightlifting.  Food remains relatively uninteresting to me, which explains my non-weight gain (net down three pounds since day of conception), but my doctor is happy, so I'm fine.

So that's where I'm at - 17w4d.

How We Found Out

One more story from when we first got me pregnant, then I promise to write/talk about something more current, like how I would shank someone right now for a grilled cheese sandwich.

Thirteen days after the IUI the fertility clinic had me come back in for a blood test to find out if it worked. Because we wouldn't get the blood test results instantly, but over the phone hours later, Teryn didn't come with to the clinic. Instead we opted to try an at-home test together that morning before I left, knowing that it was possible we could get a false negative on the at-home test and I could find out without T (foreshadowing!).

As I bet you've guessed by now, the at-home test was negative.. I didn’t feel particularly sad at that point, but just marched on with my day.  My normal set of PMS symptoms had shown up a few days earlier, so I was already preparing myself for the seemingly inevitable negative result.

Later that morning I went in for a blood test at the fertility clinic, feeling a little down about “wasting” a test when I was obviously not pregnant.  I spent the morning at work composing a list of questions for the nurse about next steps, shipping the next set of sperm vials from the sperm bank to the fertility clinic, etc.  When she called at 11:30am I grabbed my list and was about to jump into my questions when she shocked the hell out of me with “Congratulations!  It was positive!”

Stunned does not begin to describe how I felt.  My heart split in half and part shot down to my toes while the other part lodged itself in my throat.  I fell into my chair more than I sat down.  I think I asked her half a dozen times if she was SURE.  Are you sure those are my results?  Anne Fisher?  Really?  Really, really sure?  ARE YOU SURE?

Because T was with her mom (and we already decided not to tell close family until 10 weeks), I couldn’t call her until later in the afternoon.  I spent four hours at my desk vibrating with excitement; positively beside myself and wishing SO MUCH that I could share this with SOMEONE

By 3:30 I was finally able to talk to T and give her the news.  See up there a couple paragraphs ago, where I was freaking out and asking “ARE YOU SURE?  REALLY?” over and over?  Just read that again and substitute T in the narrative and you have exactly how she took the news. We are clearly a matched pair.

A Conception Story

I won't have a birth story to share for many months yet, but a surprisingly large number of people follow their "congrats!" upon hearing of the pregnancy with "...how does that work?"  Hell, I'd be nosey about it if roles were reversed.  Be warned that while there are no pictures (YOU'RE WELCOME), it is medically graphic to a degree, so feel free to skip this entry if that isn't your thing.

Teryn and I went through California Cryobankto buy sperm.  As my genes are already in the mix (being that it is me who is knocked up), T did the first-pass on searching for a sperm donor who sounded at least on paper a lot like her and her family - blond curly hair, blue eyes, musical, smart, etc.  She narrowed it down to six or seven donors before I joined in. At that point we looked through all of the amazing amounts of detail and medical history, talked about their differences, and re-ranked them, eventually narrowing it down to one choice who had vials available, so we made the purchase.

Meanwhile I was busy getting all of my medical stuff in order with the fertility clinic - they needed my most recent pap results, a letter from my diabetes endocrinologist approving the plan to get pregnancy, and a metric ton of blood tests.  T and I also had to go to a 30-minute "session" with the fertility clinic's psychologist, a requirement of anyone using donor sperm.

Next up was a series of ultrasounds, a base-line ultrasound within the first four days of my period, a saline ultrasound around cycle day 11 where they squirted saline solution in my uterus to measure the lining (this was gross feeling, as what goes in must come out), and a third on day 18 when I should have been close to ovulation (long cycle).  The last ultrasound showed I was pretty much going to ovulate any moment, so we scheduled IUI for the next morning and the morning after that.

The IUI itself was a lot like a pap. They said I might feel pressure when they did the actual insemination, but I didn't.  Afterwards they had me stay laying down for ten minutes (they set a timer!) and then go about my regular day.  T spend the ten minute wait wishing aloud for a sandwich, because she's classy like that. Also because I couldn't reach her from the table to swat her.

And that's really all it took. From there we went through our two-week-wait, alternately convinced I was TOTALLY PREGNANT and then TOTALLY NOT PREGNANT, because I'm very reasonable and sane like that. We were incredibly lucky that I got pregnant on the first try, so we didn't have to deal with multiple cycles. Though having it work on the first try did mean that T wasn't able to fulfill her dream of bringing a sandwich to the next set of IUI to eat during the ten minute wait. Alas.

12 weeks 4 days: Totally Pregnant

HEY GUYS GUESS WHAT??

Looks like somewhere around July 26th Teryn and I will no longer be a family of two, but a family of three.  Awwww.

First trimester has gone SHOCKINGLY well for me so far, other than the non-stop dry-heaving.  But!  I'm not puking!  So I win!  Or something.  It has been positively KILLING me to stay quiet on this.  We found out on November 15th (via blood test at the doctor's office after the home test was WRONG, but that is a story for another day), told parents at Christmas, and now it's finally time to tell all of you.

I'm pregnant.  We're going to be MOMS.  I've never been so excited and terrified of something in my life.  It's going to be so awesome.

Ask A Simple Question, Get A Stupid Answer

A month ago, when I called to make our first appointment with the reproductive endocrinologist, I was, shall we say, more than a little keyed up and nervous.  I don’t like talking on the phone under the best of circumstances, but when I’m extra anxious/nervous my brain leaves my body and I lose the ability to filter what comes out of my mouth.  Observe:

______________________

Anne:  Hi, I’m a new patient.  I’d like to make an appointment with Dr. B.

(Here we will skip A LOT of medical history/address/blah blah blah questions)

Receptionist:  Are you single, or married?

Anne:  Married.  Wait!  No, I’m single.  Well, I AM married.  But not legally.

Receptionist:  …

Anne:  I’m married to a woman.  I don’t know which answer to give. 

Receptionist:  …

Anne:  I mean, normally I just say “single”, since that’s the legal definition.  But are you asking for my chart or legal stuff, or what?

Receptionist:  …

Anne:  There is no sperm in my marriage; is that what you’re asking? 

Receptionist:  …do you share medical insurance?

Anne:  Oh! No.  She is on my dental insurance though. 

Receptionist:  …

Anne:   I don’t suppose that matters to you.

______________________

Amazingly, they still accepted me as a patient and agreed to help me reproduce.  I’m going to try and not hold that bit of poor judgment against them, since it works in my favor and all.

Baby Steps: Baby-Making Edition

A week from tomorrow T and I are going to walk into the Fertility Centers of Illinois, lay our hearts (and my body) down on the examining table, and officially start the most exciting, terrifying, heart-wrenching journey of our lives.

We’re done gonna get me knocked up.  Or at least that’s the plan.

I haven’t talked about it much online, but the early parts of this journey have been a constant part of my* daily life for many months now.  The process of expanding a family to include children when both partners have the same baby-making parts is a rather more organized and clinical process than it is for your average, hypothetical, fertile heterosexual couple.  For months now I’ve been tracking my cycles, taking my temperature, peeing on ovulation-indicator sticks, and generally obsessing over this whole process.  When each monthly attempt cost upwards of $1,500**, everyone involved wants to make sure that the turkey-baster activities happen on days with the highest chance of success.

We have our first Official Appointment with the reproductive endocrinologist on September 15^th.  I don’t know when exactly we’ll get to make our first attempt at pregnancy, or if there will be medications or tests or anything I have to go through first.  But I promise to keep you posted.

Wish us luck, yes?

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*T’s life as well, of course.  I don’t mean to sound like this is only my journey.  But for the tracking-measuring-planning parts it is mostly on me, since it is only my body and my cycle being tracked and measured.

** For regular artificial insemination.  If IVF or anything like that comes up, it would obviously be much more.