My goodness, but am I a big ol' crankypants today. Some days I am all cheery and motivated and full of energy to clean closets and get everything on my to-do list done by 10am, and then there are days like today where I can only seem to think of the things I haven't managed to do. I need to get my windshield replaced, I need to get my oil changed, I need to take out the garbage I keep stacking by the back door, I need to get the last year worth of pictures off my camera, I need to bake cookies for my boss's return to work tomorrow, I need to bake cookies for my friend's birthday on Friday, I need to go to night class tonight and a reception tomorrow night, so I have no idea how I can bake without staying up much of the night to do so. I need to write more here, and in my paper journal, and I have a half-dozen personal phone calls I've been putting off for no reason other than I just didn't have the right kind of energy for phone calls. The hospital still thinks I owe them $1,500 that they double-billed me and I had the audacity to only pay once. My financial aid refunded me $40 which was supposedly the amount by which my loan exceeded my tuition, and yet today I got a bill from school saying I still owe $50. WTF, school?
There are no less than a dozen typos in my last post here and I can't even bring myself to fix them; I just stare at them and berate myself for being such a sloppy writer. One would think that being married to someone with two degrees in English would rub off on me, but one would be wrong. T is much more capable of describing business transactions and their tax effects than I am at spelling or punctuation.
Also, I'm ugly and need a haircut, I need to lose weight, and that mole on the top of my head that no one can see really needs to go away because it pisses me off anyway.
I suspect that a lot of this OMG EVERYTHING SUCKS attitude is coming from the fact that my birthday is rapidly approaching, and I am not a fan of my birthday. I couldn't care less about getting older, as I am only going to be the Ripe Old Age of 29 and most of my friends are at least a decade older than me. But birthdays...they are just not pleasant. I both want people around me, wishing me happy birthday and going out to dinner or something, and I want to hide in my house and not have all those people LOOKING AT ME. It's the same anxiety I had for months leading up to my wedding. I was super excited, except for the part where I was 1/2 of the Center Of Attention for the weekend and that is really, really stressful. It both feels good and keeps me hovering a hair below panic-attack the entire time. Hell, I kept a baggie of Xanax in the pocket of my wedding dress just in case. (Note: How cool is it that I had an invisible hidden pocket in my wedding gown?).
Anyway, birthday = stress. On the plus side, T and I are buying a Wii Fit for my birthday present and it is currently sitting behind me on my office floor, tempting me to run home and play with it. Alas, I have to wait until the 24th.
