I have never seen Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds, but judging from the title and random references to the movie that I've encountered over my life, there are some pretty pissed off crazy birds out to get people. I think my family has somehow found our way into a distant cousin of that movie, where all flying creatures are out to get us.
Yesterday a pigeon ran into my leg, which was made all the more horrifying by the fact that I was wearing a skirt so it touched my skin and EW. Also, pigeon, get thee some flying skills or you'll find yourself flattened by a CTA bus.
On Monday T was shat upon by a bird while walking across campus. She is thankfully it landed on her arm and not in her hair. She is good at looking on the bright side, that one.
AND THEN THE BEST STORY OF ALL.
So. At four in the morning on Sunday my mom was awoken from a dead sleep by my dad yelling "GET UNDER THE COVERS!" Wisely, she obeyed. It seems a bat had found its way into their room and had LANDED ON MY DAD'S FACE AND BIT HIS LIP. Let me pause for a moment while you think that over. Landed. On. His. Face. The fact that he did not up and die of a heart attack right then is quite impressive, in my opinion. My blood pressure rises just thinking about that happening to me.
What followed was a very silent-movie-era-comedy-routine involving my mom locking herself in the bathroom and my dad running around the room buck naked trying to knock the bat out of the air with his jeans. (T: Thank goodness it only bit his face!) The bat was captured and contained in a gallon Ziploc bag (which my mom flung into the room before locking herself in the bathroom again). My parents live close to the University of Minnesota, so the next day my dad brought the bat there to be tested for rabies, and the results came back negative. So I guess all that foaming-at-the-mouth was from one too many root beer floats.
Myself, I am going to use this as an excuse to stay indoors and away from windows, lest more flying creatures decide to attack. And I'll keep a pair of jeans and a Ziploc baggie around just in case one gets in the house.
